Thursday, December 16, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.
3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.
4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.
5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.
9. Never turn your back on an enemy.
10. Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hull.
11. Everything is air-droppable at least once.
12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot in head.
13. Do unto others.
14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"
15. Only you can prevent friendly fire. ]
16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.
21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.
30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
31. Only cheaters prosper.
34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'
38. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.
Read More: A Personal Appeal from blog founder Saurav Das
Let’s just say some people were skeptical of the notion that an eigth grader from India could coherently put together a string of pithy remarks – all for the simple purpose of intellectual masturbation.
No ads. No agenda. No strings attached.
A couple of months after its founding, nearly 4 people subscribe to this blog and its nonsense – almost a third of my gtalk friends list.
It is the 5 billionth most popular blog in the world – but wise-acher isn’t anything like a monetized blog. It is a pfaff machine, written by a coffee crazed lunatic making one entry at a time. You are unfortunately a part of the community. And I’m writing today to ask you to protect and sustain your damaged brain.
Together, we can keep it free of bullshit and subliminal advertising. We can keep it open – you can use the information in wise-acher any way you want. We can keep it growing – spreading the ability to pfaff everywhere, and inviting participation from everyone.
Each year at this time, we reach out to ask you and others all across the wise-acher community to help sustain our mind-numbing enterprise with a modest donation of 2 beers, 3.5 pizzas, 5 smokes or more.
If you value wise-acher as a source of mis-information – and a source of plagiarism – I hope you’ll choose to act right now.
All the best,
Saurav Das
Founder, wise-acher.blogspot.com
P.S.: wise-acher is about the power of people like us to do mediocre things. People like us write wise-ass facebook entries, one word at a time. People like us fuck it up, one dislike at a time. It's proof of our collective potential to damage the world.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
A Book Review. Not.
People are stupid. That's the first rule. Everyone knows that the greatest harm can result from the best intentions. Passion rules reason, For better or for worse. There is magic in sincere forgiveness; in the forgiveness you give, but more so in the forgiveness you receive. Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie. The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason. Life is the future, not the past. Talga Vassternich. Translation: Deserve Victory. Explanation: "Be justified in your convictions. Be completely committed. Earn what you want and need rather than waiting for others to give you what you desire." A contradiction can not exist in reality. Not in part, nor in whole. Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. the truth is what should motivate your life not the lies or you will fall victim to the first rule and if you ignore the truth you're betraying everything that you belive in because the lie is more convenient to you than what is really there. One must always seek the truth in life for themselves, rather than simply believing that which they are told without their own rational understanding and justification for that belief. Failure to do so can lead to a life of clinging to empty promises and following trails of false hope. The knowledge gained through seeking the truth, if used for the purposes of good, is the key to enjoying life to its fullest. Those who use the truth for hate however, only betray themselves.
Stumbling upon Serendipity
In a time and in a country where everyone goes out of his way to announce opinions or hand down judgments, one makes it a habit of biting the tongue three times before assuring anything. After the third bite, if still convinced of what to say, say it. If not, keep the mouth shut. In fact, one can spend whole weeks, months in silence. Silence can also be considered a kind of speech, since it is a rejection of the use to which others put words; but the meaning of this silence-speech lies in its interruptions in what is, from time to time, actually said, giving a meaning to what is unsaid. Or rather, a silence can serve to dismiss certain words or hold them in reserve for use on a better occasion. Just as a word spoken now can save a hundred words tomorrow or else can necessitate the saying of another thousand. Every time I bite my tongue, I must think not only of what I am about to say or not say, but also of everything that, whether I say it or do not say it, will be said or not said by others. Having formulated this thought, bites the tongue and remain silent. As a wise puppet once said, "Silence, I keel you."
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Lost in translation
1. Toska
Russian – Vladmir Nabokov describes it best: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”
2. Mamihlapinatapei
Yagan (indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego) – “the wordless, yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start”3. Jayus
Indonesian – “A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh”4. Iktsuarpok
Inuit – “To go outside to check if anyone is coming.”
5. Litost
Czech – Milan Kundera, author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being, remarked that “As for the meaning of this word, I have looked in vain in other languages for an equivalent, though I find it difficult to imagine how anyone can understand the human soul without it.” The closest definition is a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.
6. Kyoikumama
Japanese – “A mother who relentlessly pushes her children toward academic achievement”
7. Tartle
Scottish – The act of hestitating while introducing someone because you’ve forgotten their name.
8. Ilunga
Tshiluba (Southwest Congo) – A word famous for its untranslatability, most professional translators pinpoint it as the stature of a person “who is ready to forgive and forget any first abuse, tolerate it the second time, but never forgive nor tolerate on the third offense.”
9. Prozvonit
Czech – This word means to call a mobile phone and let it ring once so that the other person will call back, saving the first caller money. In Spanish, the phrase for this is “Dar un toque,” or, “To give a touch.”
10. Cafuné
Brazilian Portuguese – “The act of tenderly running one’s fingers through someone’s hair.”11. Schadenfreude
German – Quite famous for its meaning that somehow other languages neglected to recognize, this refers to the feeling of pleasure derived by seeing another’s misfortune. I guess “America’s Funniest Moments of Schadenfreude” just didn’t have the same ring to it.
12. Torschlusspanik
German – Translated literally, this word means “gate-closing panic,” but its contextual meaning refers to “the fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages.”
13. Wabi-Sabi
Japanese – Much has been written on this Japanese concept, but in a sentence, one might be able to understand it as “a way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay.”
14. Dépaysement
French – The feeling that comes from not being in one’s home country.
15. Tingo
Pascuense (Easter Island) – Hopefully this isn’t a word you’d need often: “the act of taking objects one desires from the house of a friend by gradually borrowing all of them.”16. Hyggelig
Danish – Its “literal” translation into English gives connotations of a warm, friendly, cozy demeanor, but it’s unlikely that these words truly capture the essence of a hyggelig; it’s likely something that must be experienced to be known. I think of good friends, cold beer, and a warm fire.
17. L’appel du vide
French – “The call of the void” is this French expression’s literal translation, but more significantly it’s used to describe the instinctive urge to jump from high places.
18. Ya’aburnee
Arabic – Both morbid and beautiful at once, this incantatory word means “You bury me,” a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
19. Duende
Spanish – While originally used to describe a mythical, spritelike entity that possesses humans and creates the feeling of awe of one’s surroundings in nature, its meaning has transitioned into referring to “the mysterious power that a work of art has to deeply move a person.”
20. Saudade
Portuguese – One of the most beautiful of all words, translatable or not, this word “refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.” Fado music, a type of mournful singing, relates to saudade.Saturday, June 19, 2010
My Sassy Girl
No, this is not THAT kind of post...It actually happens to be an extremely good korean comedy. While I was tempted to write an amazing movie review for it, i realised that your lack of attention span means that the title of this blog is all that i can hope to cover. So i thought i would write instead on 'misandry'. That would be the female version of a misogynist. It basically combines the thought that women are superhuman beings with innate wisdom and intuitive powers and are at the same time fragile little girls. On a larger feminist perspective, it is the belief that women should and must have absolute power over men, and until they do, every woman is so oppressed that no woman can possibly be held responsible for anything she does. Feminists are also known to frequently utter the phrase that "if women were in charge there would be no wars". In other words, feminists are women who have never heard of Boudica, Kahina, Hatshepsut, Zenobia, Tomyris, Golda Meir, Empress Matilda, Queen Amidala, Catherine the Great, Joan of Arc, What of Yodit, Ana de Sousa Nzinga Mbande, Queen Isabella of Spain, the Trung Sisters of Vietnam, Queen Elizabeth I, Mary Queen of Scots and Margaret Thatcher. But i digress from the topic. Haven't you ever felt the pangs of hunger and called out to the nearest woman in that 'urgent' tone of voice? But instead of the expected proper and subservient reply you received something different, a little something known as "Sass". Sometimes its too damn hard being a chauvinistic pig i tell you! Let this serve as a warning to all you guys out there. If you wish to survive in the New World Order out there, here is your instruction manual:
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/UnBooks:The_Complete_Idiot%27s_Guide_To_Talking_To_Women
Thursday, June 17, 2010
On Friendship!
This is my oath; I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend."
And always remember: when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!
Monday, May 17, 2010
East or West, Mark Twain is the best....
Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret ANYTHING
That makes you smile."