Hey,you wanna hear a funny story?

Hot damn, here I am. Seems like we hardly see each other any more. Was it something I said? Something I did? Something I didn't do....like not update the blog for a long time? I know, I know.......stop your whining. I guess this ship is sinking slow and the captain just does not want to let it go. These days any idiot can have a "blog site". And it looks like almost every idiot does......:-D.........Just kidding!.....Here's a funny story to make up for my infrequent updates-----This guy had a motorcycle which was getting really dusty. So he moved it from the garage to the living room where he got some rags and a bowl of gasoline and started to clean it. After finishing, he started the bike to check whether it was running fine or not. As it started in gear, he promptly went through the front glass doors while holding onto the handlebars, fell into the lawn in the middle of a pile of glass shards, bleeding from a dozen places. His wife, who was working in the kitchen, rushed out to see this scene and immediately called an ambulance......So far its pretty normal.....Later that afternoon, after getting hundreds of stitches, the wife brought the husband back from the hospital and gently put him to bed. She then went to clean up the mess, swept up all the glass, picked up the rags and junk and threw away the gasoline in the toilet. Shortly afterwards, the husband woke up, lit a cigarette and went into the bathroom. He sat down and tossed the cigarette into the toilet which instantaneously exploded. Hearing the explosion, his wife rushed into the bathroom to find her husband screaming in agony on the floor with third degree burns on the bum. She again called an ambulance and the same paramedics arrived. They loaded the guy onto the stretcher and as they were carrying him out, asked the wife what had happened. Upon hearing the story, one of the paramedics laughed so hard that he dropped his end of the stretcher and broke the man's collarbone.............MORAL OF THE STORY: well.....i cant think of any....:)......though i would like to enlighten the ignorant masses to an all too familiar concept with this story......schadenfreude: 'a german word that means to take mischevious delight in observing the misfortune of others'....Until next time....Adieu!

Why do guys sit with their legs spread?

Why do guys sit with their legs spread?......Its so that their brains can get oxygen!!......This should be the tagline for Delhi's male population......I was walking in Connaught Place when this incident happened......As we were passing a lingerie store, we noticed three guys making some adjustments to the sign above the store.......Two of them were holding the wooden ladder steady and the third was on top.......All three were staring steadily at the mannequins in the window........As we passed by, there was a huge crashing sound......We turned and saw the ladder falling down and the man on top crashing to the ground.......The thing to do while falling off a ladder is to generally save yourself first!....However, the whole way down the man had a desperate struggle between saving himself and falling in such a way that he could continue to stare at the mannequins.....It was simultaneously the funniest and most pathetic thing you could witness......Moral of the story: All lingerie stores shoulf have burqa's to preserve the modesty of their mannequins!!....:-P

Sex in the City!

Welcome to my weird world once again!.....Sorry for the delay....Our story begins on a Wednesday evening, when im hanging out at my friend's place...Having decided to finally trim the long lanky locks, we both set out to find the nearest barbershop......Walking in the Masoodpur market of Vasant Kunj, we soon discovered the "Be Handsome Beauty Shop" (im seriously not making this shit up!).....We entered the shop to find a shop with a partitioned wall and three small chairs......The owner of the shop soon came and started talkin to my friend about where he was studying and so on.......We got our haircut and stepped out of the shop, only to be called back by the guy.......He looked straight at my friend and said, "Sir, aap massage vassage karvate hai?"......My friend went completely blank and replied, ".....uhh....no"......The guy again said, "Sir, u KNOW, female massage...:-D"......Fighting the urge to burst out laughing, my friend again said "No thanks!".......We finally went on our way home, laughing the entire way!.......

MY DRIVING LESSONS!

Well, as you might or might not know, I recently started driving lessons........Here's the story......
DAY 1: Returned home at 1:30 am from party..:-D.......Woke up to find the instructor at 7a.m
with a Mitsubishi Lancer rather than the requested Santro........Taking a cue from NFS and various arcade car racing games, hit the accelerator like a Formula 1 driver.......Reached the ring road and finally hit the morning traffic......Instantly realised that this wasn't a video game and fully woke up!.....Good start!!
DAY 2: Different instructor arrives with Santro.....Am happy until i realise that the horn, taillight and brakes dont work........Proceed to break the car in 15 mins......Wait two hours for the
mechanic to arrive.....The car is pronounced beyond all repair.....I go to the driving school where i have paid the fees IN ADVANCE, and $%#@&*$@!!!.......
DAY 3: Brand new Santro arrives!!......Instructor is pretty cool also.......We start talking and I
distract him while i hit 60km/hr for the first time (generally not allowed above 30)........I find out that he has just broken up with his girlfriend........We go to her colony and drive a few times around her house.......I console/counsel him and he cheers up!....He drops me home and promises that he will ask out her best friend the next day........

A New Hope

Happy to you!!.....i.e. May the year 2009 be filled with happiness and prosperity and all your wishes and dreams come true. Have a truly wonderful time and Happy New Year!......The standard forwarded message that floods your inbox at midnight on 31st December. Combined with the social lubricants you have undoubtedly consumed before the magical hour, this results in a warm and fuzzy feeling that compels you to reply to the sms and shout out your raison d'etre to the assembled public.....HAPPY TO YOU!...........
And at this most auspicious of beginnings, you can feel it in your gut. The conviction that somehow this is gonna be the one. You know, the year in which you fulfill your wishes, keep those half-assed resolutions and get ahead of the game. This time it will be different, life will be fair and you will get all the good things that you so richly deserve.........Well, who am i to spoil the party?......Folks, go for it!.....And remember that before you can fly, you gotta fall a couple of times.......So as the penguins of Madagascar say "Smile and wave boys, just smile and wave!"